Exploring the Rule of Three

                                        

The number 3 has powerful significance in spiritual practices, in mathematics, in psychology, even in business.  I came across a reference to the “Rule of Three” in a book on magical practices, which is where I first began this exploration.  I plan to write on this a bit more, exploring other aspects of the idea.  The Rule of Three is a simple rule – that whatever you send out into the universe (through your actions, behaviors, thoughts) will return to you three-fold…or in some cases it is phrased that it will return to you “three times three”.   There is a poem, which I’ve tweaked a bit, and share with you here:

 

Ever mind the Rule of Three

Three times thy gifts return to thee

This lesson well thou needs must learn

Thy wilt be blessed, but first do earn.

 

 This is a wonderful poem to keep in mind, even going so far as to create a plaque or a framed version, stitching it onto a pillow, silk-screening it onto a t-shirt….whatever works for you.  Why is it important?  Because it carries a lot of deeper truths that first reading might suggest.  

 

First, “thy gifts” are not what you first imagine.  “Gifts” can be anything that you put out into the world: your actions, your intentions, your occupation, your energy vibration.  These are all made “present” in the atmosphere.  We all know the experience of a single person being able to change the energy of an entire room – positively or negatively – just by the intensity of their energy.  We are all capable of that, although perhaps in a more subtle way for most of us.  Our attitude, our manner of speaking to people, the energy we wrap around ourselves, the way we act and take action, the way we give attention – all of these are our “gifts.”  So when the Rule of Three says that our “gifts” are returned “three times,” it means ALL of these things.  

 

If you keep this in mind at all times, you’ll pay closer attention to the intention with which you enter a room, or a conversation – in person or on line.  You’ll be more mindful of your choice of words, your body language, your facial expression.  

 

Here is where the practices of courtesy and social graces also come into consideration.  The way we behave in public is so much more important than our present-day society teaches.  Being polite, having manners – even these phrases seem, sadly, outdated.  But they are the very cornerstone of a healthy society and a flourishing community.  Rudeness, crudeness, bad language, thoughtless behavior, disrespect all create an atmosphere of toxicity.  The more of us who behave in such vulgar ways, the more toxic our society becomes, and the more all of us breathe in this toxicity.  We all know that a day spent around rude and crude people will be a day that ends with you feeling exhausted, miserable, stressed.  These are very negative energies and they are contagious, the way a disease can be contagious.  When you, yourself, are the rude and hostile person, doesn’t the day end with you feeling worse?  Doesn’t the experiences of interactions with others just keep getting more and more unpleasant?

 

There is a saying in Buddhist practice that there is no limit on the number of times you can begin the day a-new.  Since I have worked in theatre for much of my life, I approach that idea a little differently and ask, “Can we take that scene again?”  I used to do this with my children when they were small, and actually would “play the scene” a second or third time, and by the end, what had been a nasty exchange with tempers getting more heated would always end in silliness and laughter.  It allows us to step out of ourselves and our singular perspective and be the “director” as well as the “actor” of a scene, or a moment.  Suddenly, the frame shifts, and with that shift in perspective and point of view, comes lightness and warmth.  

 

This also speaks of something I’d like to explore more deeply in a future post: the practice that Italians called La Bella Figura.  This is an idea of always presenting your most beautiful self to the world, as something you do for others.  It means embracing and absorbing the energy of beauty, then sharing that energy with others.  Don’t we always feel better and interact with others more effectively when we’ve taken more care of the way we present ourselves? And don’t you find that others respond more positively in such cases? This doesn’t mean spending a fortune on clothes or makeup or haircuts.  It means putting your best face forward in every way you can.  It means combing your hair, ironing your shirt, polishing your shoes.  At mealtime, it means setting a pretty table and serving food in an appetizing way, shared at a table instead of throwing food on a paper plate and eating in front of a TV screen.  There is a thrift store near me where I have found some of the most beautiful porcelain and china dishware – beautiful patterns with a sense of elegance – for pennies.  Serving a simple lentil soup in a beautiful bowl somehow makes the soup taste more delicious, and makes the experience of eating it a more uplifting experience.  La Bella Figura is a practice that we do for ourselves and for others.  And research shows that food eaten in positive surroundings, in a pleasant frame of mind is actually more nourishing.  How about that? 

 

When the poem says thou wilt be blessed but first do earn, it doesn’t mean “earn” the way the capitalist/protestant work mania means it.  It means that you gain deserving from your behaviors and achievements.  It means “you’ll get what you deserve.”  Garbage in, Garbage out is another way of putting it.  

 

So, to wrap up this portion of our exploration, I’ll just say that the poem and the idea expressed in the Rule of Three is that the more deliberate you are in providing positive benefit to other people – by your presence, your kindness, your generosity, your wisdom, your smile, your bella figura – the more positive your own life will be.  

© Debra Leigh Scott 2023

Artwork:  The Triquetra, or the Trinity Knot Symbol